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69.9
Undue Merging
Borders are meant to be crossed
You cross borders of lands I will never see
As I am still fully inept to impede
The dissolving of borders in me
You can watch, it’s a smooth process
In no time you’ll have free access
I’m not meant to meet with success
In my striving to
Stop the melting and the blurring of lines
Stop disproportional blending.
Stop the undue merging into you
Apollo steps in the ring with Dionysus
I know who I’d like to see win
You won’t believe your eyes
When you pick me up after the fight
For the mess I’ll be in
It is not always a pleasure
To be captured beyond measure
A sweet curse and a sore treasure
I am tired, trying to...
Things to learn and things to break
I can’t turn away
You must burn for me to make
My way through the day
Through the grey
All the blood’s running forward
The mind’s pulling back
Lately things have been moving so fast
The higher we put the sun up in our skies
The longer the shadows we cast
And the coin’s still got two faces
Bliss and danger of safe places
Focus hard on what the base is
See me trying
Sudden Twist
Sudden twist of the mind
Rotten thought that will blur my eyes
Hidden hope I can’t find
Given crash any random time
Perfect fool if I fold
Odds are good, it’s a hand to hold
I ain’t drawing
I hear you call
And I’m going All-In
I feel me falling
You’re getting closer
And it blows my mind
All the ghosts
I need to face and fight
Letting go, setting free
Far and close, facts and theories
Who can choose what they learn
Taking in, passing on in turn
Sudden raise of the veil
A decision, it’s not doomed to fail
I decide
If I turn the tide
If I’m on your side
Are you on my side
You’re getting closer
And it blows my mind
All the ghosts
I need to face and fight
To see
Things differently
Could stop the fall
Could change it all
69.9
I start to understand better
I start to know in advance
I start to know what’s the matter
Before I notice by chance
And still I’m spinning in circles
And still I’m doing me harm
I want to move like the turtles
Save some emergency charm
I’m driving thorns in my finger
I’m whiping blood off my brow
I feel a hollow that lingers
Need of recreation now
I need creative equipment
Give me a tool of control
Just crave the way that my hip bends
Long for the way my arms fold
Phantom Dream
Night falls
And I can’t fall asleep
I call upon the mind-log I keep
Plot does make no sense
With the downfall of all defense
Here comes
Another phantom dream
Another fury-scream
Burning in my lips
Did you think that it’d just pass
Certain it would slip
Through this docile mind so fast
Here goes
Another reason why
Another tease that I won’t just ignore
Like these sores
These sores
Burning in my hips
Did you think that it‘d just pass
Certain it would slip
Through this docile mind so fast
Burning in my hips
Did you think I’d let this pass
Could you feel us slip
Through your fingers while it lasted
Did you get your kicks
Out of watching me rise and fall
Did you think I’d stick around
Did you think at all
Redefine
Planets on the run
Moons in motion
Shadows on the sun
When you think it’s done
You find that it’s only begun
Things that hold you down
Things that break you
Things that make you frown
How to turn around
Thoughts you keep thinking about
And I redefine
I’m keeping things in perspective
All I manage to read are detective stories
With the mustache guy
And the old British lady
Friends that pass me by
Fears that stop me
Facts that I deny
How long can I defy
What stares me right in the eye
All that one can bear
All at once
And have I had my share
The things I used to dare
The bliss of not being aware
All that I can’t be
All that I don’t want for you to see
All of this is me
Grizzly Girl
Grizzly Girl
Out of all the names I could pick
Last night you were home alone sick
Get better
Grizzly Girl
I know sometimes you’re lost in the dark
Waiting and praying for a spark
To show the way
Grizzly Girl
At New Year’s out in the wood hunting bear
Oh how I’d wished
I could have been there with you
My Grizzly Girl
You say you want a kid and a dog
It took you years to get out of the fog
But now you see
And how you held me on the boat
Foreseeing lyrics that we wrote
And that mysteriously came true
Was this all planned long before we knew
Grizzly Girl
You’re trying hard
But you really have no idea
How to correctly pronounce IKEA
Grizzly Girl
When we meet again
I don’t think we will do Pilates
Rather get drunk on Pina Coladas
Grizzly Girl
Oh how I wish
We could just meet for coffee
Sometimes I really miss you awfully
Grizzly Girl
You’re in my heart
And I wrote you this song
To let you know
That you are among
The ones I love
Me & the A.D.
You pulled a curtain
You uncovered what I’d put
Beneath a cloth
That I had made from my mistakes
But I know nothing’s ever certain
That is why
I am hearing in my mind
The screams and screeching of the brakes
You touch my hip-bone
You make me smile, I make you smirk
I make you sulk
You make me coffee for the day
You drive a truck, you sail my ship home
You told me your core
Down on the kitchen floor
When I was down in tears and foggy haze
Be my mirror, be my lake
I stare at my reflection, is it changing
Or will I make the same mistakes
Same flowers I keep rearranging
Thumbs up for faces
I’m good at drinking beer at bars
Your eyes like stars
My fear is raving itself hoarse
Sometimes I don’t know where my faith is
Then you come along
You hum a mountain song
You carry water from the source
The storm again
I’m thrown again
These thorns again
I’m torn
Can’t call this humble
The level of intensity
The density
The steady focus I demand
You walk and climb, I run and stumble
Can you help me find
Some kind of peace of mind
To trust the ground on which I stand
Dark Enough
And the images chosen
And the words that are frozen
Before they are even about
To be spoken out loud
And the struggle
To bear and to handle
And to find the right angle
To look at the things as they are
If they’re ever
It’s all just a matter of perspective
And being selective
About what we try to tame and call reality
And it’s mind over matter
But heart over mind
Will you find that you should have run
When there still was the time
Now the coping
With a girl that is hoping
To come out alive
Of the permanent pulling and tugging at bones
The Sisyphus moving of stones
Being washed ashore
By the ocean waves flooding the heart constantly
And the air meets the water
Like father and daughter
Like mother and son used to learn
So will your suns burn in the skies
That light up your eyes
Are they willing to drown
Or will they freeze in a frown
Will they seize
What lies underneath
These shields I hold up with these hands
Is this land I see coming into sight finally
Are you dark enough
Bee Buzzin’
You don’t contribute
To the style of life I’d like to lead
But I’m happy with the things you are
The things I need
Are not necessarily identically
The ones I want
But that’s a whole other problem
I feel so cut off
From what I had thought would be my crowd
I wonder who knows who and where they go
And what about the nights
Talking over red wine
And exchanging thoughts
Are they totally gone then
All the buzzing of the bees
And aside: old moony me
Warm and fuzzy is how it feels
To slide into apathy
I need a poke, a push, a holler
You don’t say a word
I guess it’s “opposites attract” versus
“birds of a feather flock together”
Do we always look
For what we’re not
Is there hope in the middle
One second joking, next I’m choking
I said something wrong
Every time I can’t comply
I blame it on myself
And I'm pulling too hard
But you sit and sulk
I can’t cope with the riddle
And the buzzing of the bees
And aside: failed feeble me
Lost and muzzy is how I feel
When the sides ain't clear to see
Everything Alright
My baby got me walking
With a shadow by my side
He got me talking
In my dreams every night
He got me crying
And crying out his name
He let all the fog in
Every corner of my brain
My baby got me counting
Every grain in the hour glass
The heat is mounting
And my blood is running fast
He got me spending
My days staring at the wall
And now my heart is bouncing
I hear his footsteps in the hall
And my baby’s home tonight
With the moon in his eyes
I will gladly lose this fight
Cause he’ll make every little thing alright
He’ll watch me shaking
As he lays down by my side
There’s no use faking
Cause this I cannot hide
He pulls me closer
He’s speaking low
After all this aching
Now there’s letting go
Down by the river
We were walking hand in hand
What makes me shiver
Is that I don’t understand
Just like these waters
Time’s running fast
Why let things wither
If things could last
Bring my baby home tonight
Make him stay right by my side
I would gladly lose this fight
Cause he’d make every little thing alright
Square Bracket Open/Close
Oh, the ginger lover
Occasional recall
Oh, what one discovers
When in thrall
Oh, like in the picture
Like in the book
Fickle fortune, fate and fiction
Stuff to get hooked
Oh, the ginger lover
Fragment in time
Puzzle piece pops up to hover
And passes by
Lay Your Head
Lay your head, now, love
Lay your head down beside me
World’s gone mad, now, love
World’s gone mad on me, too
Would you keep them out
I just need you to hide me
Give the skin, gut to gut, leave the blinds shut
All the work today
Will the work lead to something
All the words we said
Hanging low in the air
Let it rest now, love
Let it rest, all is nothing
Give the mouth, bone to skin, take me all in
Leave the noise, leave the lights behind
They will hurt my ears, they will burn my eyes
I will drop my voice, it will all unwind
Let it go
Let’s agree now, love
Let’s agree now to differ
Let’s at least respect
What we don’t understand
I’ll lay down my arms
You don’t have to deliver
Breathe it out, drop the wall, I will, too, fall
Blood is dripping dark
Blood is always deceiving
On my skin the mark
What’s this doom that I am perceiving
Is this fate’s sudden twist
Is this a knife in your fist
What’s this pain in my chest
It succeeds, I succumb, make myself numb
It’s alright, now, love
It’s alright, I was dreaming
Just the night, now, love
Just the night playing tricks
It is almost dawn
See the light’s early gleaming
Wrap around, let’s pretend there’ll be no end
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